This winter break was not at all too exciting for me, but one of the best times I had was when I went to the Denver Bronco game. Well, not actually the act of going to the game because half of the time you have to endure those long-lasting, sucky traffic jams on I-25.
As I’m driving along at a fast pace of 2-5 mph, I look to my right and I don’t see a girl. I see the outline of a girl who used to be. Inside the outline is all black; so let’s just call her shadow girl. Shadow girl and I have been together for a little over a year at this point in time, but she is only visiting because sadly (ha!!), she has not lived here for the past three months; due to irrelevant circumstances. It came as a surprise to me when I first told her that I had tickets for us to go. She was excited and actually enthusiastic about it. Being that the temperature would be around zero degrees and colder as the game goes on.
It was the first Sunday after finals, just into winter break. While we are approaching Denver, I anticipate seeing what I have always called the “big buildings”. Go figure, they are all the skyscrapers and tall buildings in the center of downtown Denver. Seeing these buildings always means that you are closer than ever to reaching the city. I find the exit we need to take. Then, the closest parking spot available to my eyes. After we park and get out of the car, the sudden realization of freezing weather is struck upon us. We already know it is going to be a cold one. Just as we near the stadium, we can hear the Stadium PA naming players while the crowd cheers. The game is getting ready to start and we are just in time to see the beginning.
After we found our section and seat row, we squeeze through the isle of filled seats until we finally reach ours. They were about 10 rows from midfield right behind the Buffalo Bills bench. Right away I am really tuned into what a unique experience it is to watch up-close rather than on TV. Hearing the crowd, seeing everything that happens on the sidelines, the players, and the coaches is a completely different experience.
When I think about my winter break I realize that it was really cool watching premium athletes perform at the games highest level, with the best available competition.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I felt like you finally started feeling the flow of your story at the end f you essay. Next time you start to get comfortable at the end of the piece, read the first part and re0write it to match the ocie in the end. Ialso felt like your essay was a little unorganized. I never really felt like you talked about what you said you were oing to talk about. Don;t stop a story until you finish it.
ReplyDeleteAudience and purpose: 2.9
Format: 3 no heading
TOtal: 39/50 78%
Your essay sounded very cool. Football is an awesome sport for me and i have been to a broncos game so i can relate. The games are definently fun and a different experience. I thought your topic you picked was very interesting. Also i thought one thing you could have did differently was take out your first sentence of your second paragraph. It is a random time statement that could have been stated earlier in the narative
ReplyDeleteHey fairly good job. I liked your little bits of humor you stuck into your essay. However, you didn't talk about what you were going to talk about, the actual football game. Something that stood out was your description of the "shadow girl," I didn't quite understand it at first but I eventually got it. Next time you write an essay try to make it flow better and not be so choppy. I did like your humor though.
ReplyDeletei can definitely relate since i've been to a broncos game recently. i wonder who the mysterious shadow girl is, and i do like the mystery. i liked the part about the crappy traffic jams because it is all to true. if you ever need someone to watch football with just let me know. oh and try to work on the flow of words and staying on topic.
ReplyDelete